Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
