We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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