yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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