How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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