Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
