you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dear god my vagina.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
