I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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