so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
