dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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