I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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