it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
