Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize
