i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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