The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
