Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
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I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
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just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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