we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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