i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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