when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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