As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
