im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize