And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records