I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.