hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
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I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
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Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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