Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again