So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.