belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
