take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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