Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I love having hate sex.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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