there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
