If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize