My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
