Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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