I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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