im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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