Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
