We need to rekindle our bromance
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
just found out that she named her cat after me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
