ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
