I just threw up on my dentist
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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