im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
