well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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