Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
