i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the day after is always just damage control
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
