Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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