Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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