Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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