haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Congratulations! We have a period
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
