True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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