the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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