youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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