i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize