we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
