we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
