Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
