and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
