I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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