From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
