it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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