I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
