Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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