I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
