I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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