How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
