these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
