I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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